This is not included as
Socially Responsible Business Practices!
Controlling the human mind from birth...


1stgrade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. 
  She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. 
  It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders.. 
 Their insight may surprise you.  
While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!

1. Don't change horses
until they stop running.
2. Strike while the
 bug is close.
3. It's always darkest before
 Daylight Saving Time.
4. Never underestimate the power of termites.
5. You can lead a horse to water but
 How?
6. Don't bite the hand that
 Looks dirty.
7. No news is
 impossible
8. A miss is as good as a
 Mr.
9. You can't teach an old dog new
 Math
10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll
 stink in the morning.
11. Love all, trust
 Me.
12. The pen is mightier than the
 pigs..
13. An idle mind is
 the best way to relax..
14. Where there's smoke there's
 pollution.
15. Happy the bride who gets all the presents.
16. A penny saved is
 not much.
17. Two's company, three's
 the Musketeers.
18. Don't put off till tomorrow what
 you put on to go to bed.
19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and
 You have to blow your nose.
20. There are none so blind as
 Stevie Wonder.
21. Children should be seen and not
 spanked or grounded.
22. If at first you don't succeed
 get new batteries..
23.
 You get out of something only what you 
 See in the picture on the box
24.
 When the blind lead the blind  
get out of the way.
25.
 A bird in the hand is going to poop on you.
And the WINNER!!
26.
  Better late than Pregnant

The Real Meaning of Life: When I was 5 years old, my mom always told me that happiness was the key to life.

When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up.

I wrote down "happy."

They told me I didn't understand the assignment.

I told them they didn't understand life.
More Fun
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on...
If cars were like some computer programs.
If AutoMakers had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part ):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........ twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the motorway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask, 'Are you sure?' before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off.

PS - when all else fails, you could call 'customer service' in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!!!!

Please share this with your friends who love - but sometimes hate - their computer!